The Journey Begins

To my future readers,

Hi. My name is Abbah Abbah (yes first AND surname are the same). If you’ve reeled from your shock and/or laughter at that then know that I am an aspiring writer/poet. I started this site because I’m passionate about writing and I want to share that with others. I want others to feel something from my work. I take writing very seriously and I look forward to growing with you all. If you have any criticisms, suggestions, ideas or if you just want to tell me what a good job I’m doing then feel free to comment or contact me at my email below. To maximize your enjoyment of my poems, I will be using a “best served” system. Essentially, every poem will have a “best served with ….” attached to it, which is just a recommendation of the best song to listen to while reading the poem so watch out for that. For this, I’d say listen to the first minute of the song and then start reading the poem. Thanks for your future support and I promise you will not be bored. Don’t forget to Like, Comment and Follow. For anything else, contact me at elanoelations@yahoo.com.

PS: I do not own any of the pictures or songs posted on this website. I source them from google or youtube.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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Jezebel (part 2)

Best Served With: Violet by Daniel Caesar (acoustic Trinity Bellwoods version)

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=629mpleOMU0

Image result for jezebel

 

If–

Instantly,

Bloody sweat hurriedly ran to console my eyes,

The elated slippery floor called to me,

My world was spinning,

I could only see red,

 

If–

I stayed though,

I listened,

I heard and saw it all,

 

If–

Then I crept back downstairs,

Put out the candles,

Packed up the petals,

Prostrated out the porch,

And licked my bleeding wounds,

Cradled by the silent rain of the night.

Wailing soundless tears before wiping off

and soundly re-entering,

 

Then I would have nothing to say to you,

Because I saw the signs,

The lingering looks on passing males,

The constant lies and tall tales,

The open eyes when our expressions web,

The blank faces and touches in your net,

 

I saw them all and stayed

because I am your dog,

To keep, what can I say?

Dogs are faithful.

 

I still have the ring.

 

In its inky black case with rough layers,

It held our whispers of staunch prayers,

Of all the things together we would do,

Its jewels were meant to be soothsayers,

Predicting the love I would have for you,

 

The might of life I would share that night,

In rain or sun, dark or light,

But my life lost might with what I saw that night,

My sun turned rain,

Darkness forever,

Darkness again.

 

 

I know one day though;

 

The window will reflect you falling at night,

I’ll see my reflection covering your eyes,

I’ll open my jaws; it’s a dog’s ecstasy,

Your lies and temptation will vanish with me.

 

Want is pain and greed is want

So greed is pain, greed is pain,

Want is pain and green is want,

So greed is pain, greed is pain

Jezebel (part 1)

Best Served with: Violet by Daniel Caesar (acoustic Trinity Bellwoods version)

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=629mpleOMU0

Image result for jezebel

If on our bed,

You spread your legs,

And hold your tits as you bounce,

 

If–

In a trance you tap,

To the rhythm of his claps

With a twisted face; he slaps,

 

If–

You smile in surrender,

Eyes rolled half-way to their tips

Delicate brown hands squeezing

the beige out of the sheets,

 

If–

Then he lifts you up,

Pulls you back like superman,

Latching on like a leech,

 

If–

The windows testify,

I can’t defy

But he defiled,

You don’t deny,

 

If—

He fucked you senseless,

On a rainy Friday night,

Where the breeze kissed the roof,

Who guarded red eyes in the skies?

What purple, black and blue reside?

 

If—

When he was done,

He left you naked on the bed,

Drinking used condoms from your hand,

Paralysed by joy in your head,

 

If After–

You put on the over-sized stained blue shirt I gave you,

Fighting with the sheets because you heard me come in,

 

I’m early,

Footsteps thicker than usual,

Louder than usual,

Slower than usual–

 

Turn that chair

fix the bed

hide the man

wash your face

Creep downstairs

greet your man…

stall him in that place,

 

If after that you can still kiss me on that very night,

Then of course I cannot share with you my plight,

 

If the–

 

Truth was,

That night I came back early for you,

You told me what your wish was,

I tried my best to make it come true,

And I did,

 

If–

I had wanted to surprise you,

I lit our lavender and periwinkle candles,

Stuffed the parlour with petals; more than it could handle,

I had bought what you wanted; those special sandals,

In a suave grey paper bag that I constantly fondled,

They were saddled comfortably next to the ring,

 

 

If–

Then I heard a rocking upstairs,

And the ink of doubt splattered,

Over the canvas of my heart,

 

If–

As I crept upstairs,

My skin adjusted and aligned,

Cursing in discomfort,

My legs cracked like ancient pillars,

Pulling lead up with each step taken,

 

If–

My hands shrivelled and blossomed repeatedly,

Trembling moist children scratching the sides of my neck,

As Nervousness ravaged my white hot insides,

As the rocking got louder,

 

If–

I spotted that crack in the door,

The one you always told me to fix,

Alas Fate and Man can never mix,

My clothes were ringing angrily,

Irritated by my heart’s call,

I snuck a peek

 

 

Ark

Best Served With: You’re All Alone by John Swihart

link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU8HiNPiGZc

Image result for domestic abuse reverence

I’m your punching bag,

Nobody can know this arrangement,

Black eyes shun the sadness,

My feelings just bow to your tempo,

 

–So your dad abused your mum,

Poor Ada put trousers on,

Never fear for I’m your sponge,

I’ll soak up the pieces–

 

Baby,

you’re just like Thunder–

Tore me to pieces–

Ripped me asunder.

 

I’m

Seeking a solace–

Someone to hold me–

Put me away.

 

This god,

Slaps then cries with words,

I choose to hurt cause I

Could never choose to hug,

 

You’re ugly, worthless, lovely, beautiful,

I’ll love you now then

Torture tomorrow,

 

Why does it feel like

My God has forsaken me?

Why do I feel so alone?

 

I don’t embarrass,

I love and I care,

But it seems I,

Will never be enough.

 

You ask I supplement,

Babe,

You cry I wipe your tears,

I’m not Thunder,

But anger I just can’t justify,

You still oppress me,

I never cheated or,

Rip Me asunder,

Treated you subpar,

God is your solace,

Not lying but,

Home lays with me,

I know you’ll deny,

Stop. Can’t keep holding my wrath.

 

You ask, I supplement,

You cry, I wipe your tears,

But anger I just can’t justify,

I never cheated or,

Treated you subpar,

Not lying but

I know you’ll deny.

Light of Libra

(Song) Best Served With: La Vie En Rose by Cristin Milioti

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6gdF8ynJDo

Image result for love

I have this pair of light blue jeans,

Torn, faded, tight around the sides,

Most say they’re too weird to be seen,

But to me they are as timeless as life,

 

They remind me of how you make me feel,

I did not know that beauty could silence,

I feel small because you are so surreal,

I cannot speak without some guidance,

 

They remind me of your features,

Of how I keep on trying to make you mine,

long hair, crooked smile

You are a picture;

The perfect snapshot of life in time,

 

They remind me of why I like you,

You are a saint to all you touch;

Generous but not too much

Forever sweet enough

And real to a fault,

 

They remind me of our friendship,

Or my failed attempt at a relationship,

I know that I am goofy, sometimes childish,

But you bring out all of me,

So please,

let me know all of you.

 

You are the spring in my step

The joy in my smile

The thought in my head

The twinkle in my eyes,

 

I have this pair of light blue jeans,

They are my perfect imperfection,

They make me do things I never thought I’d try,

And when I wear them, it feels like I can fly.

 

Elano’s Notes

Honestly, I penned this poem years ago. It was one of those impulsive, burst poems that were way different from what I wrote at that time because they were funneled from pure emotion. She knows herself and she captured my heart but I never really realized how deeply I felt for her until recently. And as you read this, I hope you–whoever you are– find someone that will make you feel the way she made me feel. And if you’ve already found them…

Hold on tight.

 

Fogs and Forgetting

Best served With: Lost Without You by Freya Ridings.

Image result for I remember emotions, not memories

In my 20 years of age

My mind has mastered this body well,

It knows when to eat,

To sleep and to piss,

To talk and to shit,

To stand and to sit

I know it all; from iris to rectum,

I own it all; every single bit.

I know.

I know the pain endured over the years.

The pain built on glass hearts and flickering care.

But I lost my sight and sense as I loved you.

I know exactly where I went wrong.

We should have never–.

 

To Desire A Spine

Best Served With: West by River Tiber ft Daniel Caesar

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRsoE8q5sE8&pbjreload=10

Image result for unwanted child

Sometimes I wonder about porcupines,

About the needles on their backs,

Are they just cautiously lined platoons

Skinny stems of soldiery savor,

Natural armor for defense

Against the world?

 

Or are they spoils of a forgotten war,

Against the playground of fate,

Savagely scratching scores of silky skins,

Each one a nestled reminder of a stained past

Greeting an amber future.

 

Sometimes I feel like a porcupine,

With all these needles sticking to me,

Each of them gnawing at nature’s creation

Convincing; it is an abomination,

 

Transparency sloshes in its hollow sheath,

Either to deposit a whisper of change,

Or withdraw a wisp of abnormality,

A syringe’s worth.

Always a syringe’s worth.

 

Sometimes I envy porcupines,

As, in these white halls and spotless floors,

I feel like a neglected child;

A mistake nature never meant to make,

But one she could not be bothered to erase,

 

A stain in sanitized sheets.

And these needles;

They help me fight every day,

Only to live enough to fight another day

But when your fellow fighters all fade or fall,

It gets incredibly lonely.

 

Sometimes I wish I was a porcupine,

I could control the needles on me,

I could taste the warm summer breeze on my skin,

Bask in the sunlight as it dodges between tree leaves,

But the first thing I’d do is remove all my needles,

Because I know–

I, I just know.

That I will feel nature’s love as they regrow.